Some Cheap Ass Shit In My 'Fridge
Leftover from when I had money:
Celery Salt, Parsley, Oregano
Just bought:
2 chicken breasts = $3.19
Onion: .67c
Garlic: .38c
Cheap Wine: $1.19
Cous-Cous: $1.59
Frozen Veggies: about 2 bucks
Extras:
Leftover smokes, a good book to remind you how poor you are (in my case it is On the Heights of Despair by EM Cioran), a painkiller from the neighbor, beer if you are lucky, and a CD to blast (the one I used was Keiji Haino's band Vajra's "Cat Last" to remind me that I might just eat cat when I run out of money as a last choice).
Celery Salt, Parsley, Oregano
Just bought:
2 chicken breasts = $3.19
Onion: .67c
Garlic: .38c
Cheap Wine: $1.19
Cous-Cous: $1.59
Frozen Veggies: about 2 bucks
Extras:
Leftover smokes, a good book to remind you how poor you are (in my case it is On the Heights of Despair by EM Cioran), a painkiller from the neighbor, beer if you are lucky, and a CD to blast (the one I used was Keiji Haino's band Vajra's "Cat Last" to remind me that I might just eat cat when I run out of money as a last choice).
INSTRUCTIONS:
Drink a beer. Smoke a cigarette! It is rare to eat such good things when you are broke, so make it a "process" that is fun! Best to cook while starving, I found! Turn on that CD and crank it up (you'll be selling that CD soon for rent)! Think about that painkiller your neighbor gave you that you will pop after eating so "it will all go away" when you fall asleep on a full stomach!
Clean off the chicken you got at the ghetto store and place in pan with whatever leftover oil you have and the majority of the tiny dollar bottle of cheap wine you bought. Place chicken breasts in there, add the leftover spices to your liking. Cut up a piece of the onion and garlic to your liking and place in a pan - only use half of the onion and garlic you chopped because you want some for the cous-cous.
Place in the fridge for a bit, have another beer (if you are lucky) or take a shower or shave. If you don't need any of this, call a family member and wish them happy birthday, even if their b-day is 8 months away. Convince them you are so happy they are alive and their birth is important to you! OR, do what I did and post some hookers online for extra cash! This is a life saver, in fact, it pays my bills barely! http://homepage.mac.com/jerryblue/enterpriseads/
When finished doing whatever for a bit, begin the cooking! Put the chicken on the stove first, cook over medium covered or not until you can cut into it and see no raw pink "breast meat". Put on "low" and cover for a bit because the cous-cous just takes a second!
Cous-Cous:
Put in large saucepan: 1 cup water, salt, a bit of oil, and some frozen veggies of your choice. Add the leftover onion and garlic. Bring to a boil, remove from heat, add a cup of cous-cous, stir well, let stand for 5 minutes!
The End:
Now that your food is ready, put on a plate, eat, pop a roofy or whatever, have another beer, read, fall asleep and think about how you will get food again when your leftovers run out! Or, finish listening to your CD and read that book!
Tips:
If you have any leftover sauce to put on your chicken, even salsa - GOOD FOR YOU! I had some indian spice thing I got awile back from Trader Joe's that was good!
Also, if I had enough money for pepper - that would have been nice to add to my chicken!
Make sure your neighbor's medication is STRONG!!! You might have dreams like the video provided here!
Clean off the chicken you got at the ghetto store and place in pan with whatever leftover oil you have and the majority of the tiny dollar bottle of cheap wine you bought. Place chicken breasts in there, add the leftover spices to your liking. Cut up a piece of the onion and garlic to your liking and place in a pan - only use half of the onion and garlic you chopped because you want some for the cous-cous.
Place in the fridge for a bit, have another beer (if you are lucky) or take a shower or shave. If you don't need any of this, call a family member and wish them happy birthday, even if their b-day is 8 months away. Convince them you are so happy they are alive and their birth is important to you! OR, do what I did and post some hookers online for extra cash! This is a life saver, in fact, it pays my bills barely! http://homepage.mac.com/jerryblue/enterpriseads/
When finished doing whatever for a bit, begin the cooking! Put the chicken on the stove first, cook over medium covered or not until you can cut into it and see no raw pink "breast meat". Put on "low" and cover for a bit because the cous-cous just takes a second!
Cous-Cous:
Put in large saucepan: 1 cup water, salt, a bit of oil, and some frozen veggies of your choice. Add the leftover onion and garlic. Bring to a boil, remove from heat, add a cup of cous-cous, stir well, let stand for 5 minutes!
The End:
Now that your food is ready, put on a plate, eat, pop a roofy or whatever, have another beer, read, fall asleep and think about how you will get food again when your leftovers run out! Or, finish listening to your CD and read that book!
Tips:
If you have any leftover sauce to put on your chicken, even salsa - GOOD FOR YOU! I had some indian spice thing I got awile back from Trader Joe's that was good!
Also, if I had enough money for pepper - that would have been nice to add to my chicken!
Make sure your neighbor's medication is STRONG!!! You might have dreams like the video provided here!
COSTS:
Less than $10 and serves 2 (see above), unless you want some for tomorrow yourself!
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posted by:
September 7, 2007
